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A formal and heartfelt apology to the City of Charleston

 I haven't slept all week. I have been denied slumber by a conflict within my self that I myself created. The emotions I have felt since my last Tasteful Public Toilets post reflect an internal conflict the likes of which I am quite unfamiliar with. Some may call it an exciting time of rumination and emotional growth, some may call it insomnia-induced psychosis. Regardless, after a week of grappling with my own words and morality, I feel the need to set the record straight.

Last week I wrote here about a troublesome experience that I had while attempting to explore the public toilets in the city that I had grown to love since I moved here three weeks ago. I expressed some distasteful sentiments towards the City of Charleston and the hard working men and women who keep these restrooms clean, safe, and functional for which I would like to apologize.

I now realize that the reason for the restrooms being closed was likely not the fault of municipal impropriety, but instead the result of the ignorance of the average citizen using these facilities.

Over the course of my studies of public restrooms, I have come to realize that there are three types of people who use these toilets that harken back to the words of the Eurythmics. The users, the abusers.

The users are a peaceful people, who treat the bathrooms with kindness, respect, and consideration. They understand that these bathrooms are a gift from the government unto the commonfolk. They understand that they are not the only one who uses these bathrooms and they do their best to leave the bathroom cleaner than they found it.

The abusers, on the other hand, take what they want, do their business where they want, and go about their day without a care in the world. They disregard the fact that there are other people in this world who need to use these bathrooms. The abusers are the reason why seemingly every time you enter a public restroom you have to spend five minutes wiping off the seat and sanitizing the stall before you can use it.

They are a disgusting people, and my initial instinct is always to lash out in violence against them.

But again, in those immortal Eurythmic words, "Hold your head up. Keep your head up. Moving on. Hold your head up. Moving on. Keep your head up. Moving on. Hold your head up. Keep your head up. Moving on. Hold your head up. Moving on. Keep your head up."

We, the users, must keep our heads up, moving on, in order to educate these toilet abusers. One of the pillars of the Tasteful Public Toilets ideology is that no person is incapable of growth and emotional maturation. They must be forgiven for the lack of care and humanity displayed within the walls of our favorite local public bathrooms and educated on the proper etiquette expected of them because at the end of the day, everybody's just looking for something, and that something is a nice place to dump ass.

Rest assured, the next post on this blog will be a public toilet review. I am aware that this post and the last have been a departure from the content that my readers have come to expect from this project, but I think that they are important nonetheless. Please stay tuned for my next groundbreaking bathroom experience. I can't wait to share it with you all.

God bless.

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