Tasteful Public Toilets

This has been the longest time between posts on this blog in its entire history but I really did need quite a long time to process the events of this summer. As far as public toilets go, the past two months have been quite a rollercoaster. I have seen the extreme ends of the toilet universe and frankly, I believe I'm a stronger man because of it. When I arrived in Washington DC, I was expecting a vast landscape of top notch toilets as far as the eye can see. DC reportedly has a current population of about 700,000 people and is visited by about 20 million tourists each year. With such vast numbers in such a small city limit, one would think that there would be a huge number of public bathrooms to accommodate. Well, in certain cases one would be right and in others, not so much. A quick look at Google Maps will show you that there is a handful of public restrooms around the National Mall, which makes sense. That is statistically the most trafficked location in the city. However, ther...

My life has been a bit complicated lately. My love life is in shambles, my children don't respect me and I respect them even less, I've been losing feeling in my fingers and toes for days at a time... the list goes on and on. I don't know what has happened to me, but I've been trying to travel a bit more. I guess I felt like some time on the road would help me clear my head and maybe I could find a fresh start. I have had to find ways to keep myself occupied and entertained on my travels, especially since I've been alone for most of them. The only road trip game I know is "I Spy" and it turns out that game is pretty much unplayable unless you're with another person. I can't even remember the last time I had human contact, which is why this blog is so important. The interaction I get here and on my Instagram page are pretty much the only thing that gets me out of my sleeping bag most mornings. My father always taught me (just as I have taught my own...

I'm finally back with a new review. Admittedly, I have kind of neglected this blog lately, but not without good reason. Legally speaking, I'm not at liberty to go into too much detail here, but I have been called upon as an expert witness in a court case regarding a life injury sustained in a Charleston public bathroom last summer. Don't worry, the victim is currently in good hands on life support at MUSC, so you can bet he'll be receiving a healthy payout. I think this is really going to be a turning point for the Charleston public restroom system and the worldwide public restroom community as a whole. As I said before, I can't go into much more detail about it until the court proceedings are complete, but I believe that this will serve as a historical landmark in the modernization of the bathroom experience at the municipal level. This is why I always encourage my readers to write to their local lawmakers to express your concerns about the state of our public rest...

 I recently had the opportunity on a trip out of town to stop at one of South Carolina's renowned interstate rest stops. This one was just off of I-26, a few miles north of Newberry, South Carolina. I have always had a soft spot in my heart for interstate rest stop bathrooms. Not only are they typically very clean, they are a breeding ground for future bathroom enthusiasts. Families will often stop at these locations for a break on long road trips, which means that you can see multiple generations of fathers, sons, mothers, daughters, and everyone in between engaging in public bathroom activities together. Nothing warms my heart quite like the sound of a father demonstrating how to use the toilet to his son in the stall next to mine. To me, the true definition of fatherhood is defecating while making eye contact with your children. My kids are teenagers now, so that time has passed for me, but I still remember those times as if they were just yesterday. This particular bathroom was...

A dear friend recently made it clear to me that they were put off by the fact that I only use public restrooms when there are multiple toilets in my own home, so I thought I should address that publicly here. Let me be very clear about this: I harbor no resentment nor hard feelings towards private bathrooms and toilets. Many people seem to think that I am some sort of purist with dreams of returning to the olden days when the only place to use the bathroom was a pit in the center of town that little boys used to scrub clean every day for a couple of nickels. Although I enjoy the quaintness of that sort of lifestyle, this is not the case. To me, using the bathroom is an experience that deserves to be shared with others. The whole reason I started this blog was to bond with fellow bathroom users over our common passion. Every time I enter a public bathroom, I peek under the stalls and give a friendly hello to everyone I see. Using the bathroom is a community event. I have always seen usi...

Well, folks, you asked for it and here I am to deliver. This was one of the most highly requested bathrooms I have ever reviewed, so my expectations were high. Unfortunately, I found this bathroom to be largely unremarkable. For the most part, this bathroom was fairly standard. Two urinals and a handicap accessible stall, so you and all your cripple friends can pee freely. You can also find a baby-changing station and two automatic hand dryers here, as well as the traditional paper towel dispensers for all you purists out there. The one thing that this bathroom has that no other bathroom I've seen can offer is high quality bathroom reading. They do ask that you not bring reading material into the restroom but I think that's more of a suggestion like not driving drunk or not forcing your children to wear spandex bodysuits and body oil so you can practice wrestling moves on them. Some of the original manuscripts they possess in the Charleston room make for especially good bathroo...